Final Reflection Essay

Before I started taking this Oral History class, I was fortunate enough to have listened to Professor Summers Sandoval conduct an interview with a Chicano Vietnam Veteran. From this interview, I had an idea of how I should conduct an oral history interview in the future, but what I did not realize then is that conducting an oral history interview involves a long process.

In order to conduct an oral history interview with a Chicano Vietnam Veteran, one thing that I needed to have was historical knowledge of Latinos in the 20^th century. The class as a whole achieved this goal by reading articles and books that discussed the experiences of the Chicano Vietnam Veterans. Undoubtedly, my favorite book that we read was “Vietnam Veteranos.” “Vietnam Veteranos” presented the experiences of different Vietnam Veterans and as a result, it gave me different perspectives of the war. For example, before reading this book, I never gave much thought about how family could be affected by the war. I, of course, knew that family would be affected but I never did understand to what extent. “Vietnam Veteranos” would frequently talk about this theme in the book and I am glad that it did because the Vietnam Veteran that I interviewed discussed this theme at great length during our interview. This book not only discussed family issues but it also brought to the forefront other issues like race, gender, class, and community in the historical experiences of Latinos. For example, “Vietnam Veteranos” demonstrated that Chicano Vietnam Veteranos faced difficult situations not only during battle confrontations with the enemy but also with peer soldiers. I therefore quickly realized that Vietnam Veterans were battling two battles simultaneously: one against the Northern Vietnamese and the other against racial discrimination. It was a well- known fact that Chicanos faced discrimination in the United States because during the middle of the nineteenth century, American society dictated that the Caucasian was superior to any other ethnicity.  This notion of superiority among the Caucasian was not left in the United States but it was also seen in the American campgrounds in Vietnam. It was usually the case that Chicano soldiers would be segregated from Caucasian soldiers. Therefore, reading books like “Vietnam Veteranos” was important for me because I had a better understanding of the experiences of Latinos in the 20^th century and as such, I could better comprehend the particular experience of the Vietnam Veteran that I interviewed.

After reading the literature necessary to have a better understanding of the Latino experience in the 20^th century, my focus shifted to collecting the oral history. Professor Summers Sandoval assigned each classmate a Vietnam Veteran that we would interview. When I received the name and contact information of the Vietnam Veteran that I was going to interview, I remember that I contacted him immediately. It was very important for me to establish direct contact with him because I wanted him to feel comfortable with me. This was probably one of my biggest concerns because the discussions that we had in class solidified the idea that every Veteran had a different experience and as such, it was hard to predict how the Vietnam Veteran would react to some of the questions I asked him. I therefore wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible because I knew that a war experience was a hard topic to discuss.

When it came time to conduct the oral interview, I knew that I would have to employ oral historical research methods. My biggest tasks as the interviewer was interacting with the interview subject in a thoughtful and ethical manner. I knew that one of the obstacles I would confront during the interview would be to control my emotions and facial expressions. I wanted to have a neutral facial expression because I did not want my emotions to influence any of his answers. I found this task particularly hard because I am a person that likes to express my emotions when I am conversing with a person. I caught myself once during the interview showing my emotions but other than that, I tried to be as neutral as possible.

Another issue that I faced during the oral interview was that I did not know what emotional reaction he might have to some of the questions I asked. This worry came to the forefront when I asked him how his family was affected by the war. I was surprised to find out that half of the subject’s family died in a car accident within a month of him returning from the war. While talking to him, it became clear that he was severely affected by the event because he started to tear up. At this point, I did not know whether to continue the conversation or stop it. Fortunately, the interview subject asked for a break and he was able to compose himself. I also needed that break because I realized that his story made me sad. I was starting to think about his experience and how the Vietnam War shatters people’s lives.

A few days after the interview, I made it a point to hear the interview. As I was hearing the oral interview, I became aware of a few things I could improve. For example, I realized that during the interview, I had a habit of saying “uh-huh” every time the interview subject finished speaking. For future interviews, I will be more conscious about limiting the times I say “uh-huh.” Another thing that I observed, though, was that at some points I could tell I was nervous. When I am nervous, I have a tendency of speaking fast. There were two times in the interview when I spoke fast and I had to repeat the questions I had asked him. In the future, I don’t expect to be as nervous because I already conducted one oral history interview.

After I finished hearing the interview, I faced another concern. I was worried about how I would present the historical research to the public. There were certain themes like family events and protests that I felt were sensitive topics and I did not want to write something that the interview subject may not approve. My intentions were to write about the interview subject’s life as honest as possible but at the same time, I respected his privacy and I did not want to write about something he did not want the public to read. Therefore, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I would write about. Specifically, I heard the interview multiple times in order to see what quotes I would use in my blog entries. Therefore, the quotes were the focal points and then I elaborated from there. I also wanted to make sure that the blog entries would incorporate some historical context so that the public could understand what was happening in the US and Vietnam at that time. At the end, I was happy with my result because I did not only chose quotes but I also chose audio that would complement the blog entries on the web.

Ultimately, I enjoyed this Oral History class immensely. I did not know what to expect because I had never conducted an oral history interview before or presented the results of this historical research in a web-based format before. Presenting the historical research on a website is a great way to demonstrate what I learned in this course because it allowed me to make a product that other people can learn from. The public gets to see what I learned on a first hand basis and as such, I feel that this is rewarding. Overall, I learned about the experiences of Vietnam Veterans not only from books but also from an actual Vietnam Veteran. As a result of this, I think I have a better understanding of war, its impacts, and the legacy it leaves behind.

Reading Post 6

Undoubtedly, Alfredo Vea’s “Gods Go Begging” was an excellent book selection for this oral history class.  “Gods Go Begging” follows the life of Jesse Pasadoble, a Chicano Vietnam Veteran. Jesse served in Vietnam but once he came back to the United States he started working as a defense attorney in San Francisco. The murders of two women in Potrero Hill force Jesse to confront his past memories of the hilltop on the Laotian border twenty years ago. It is through the devastating murder of these two women that Vea has to confront the past.

In the book, the past and present were connected by situations that revolved around racial tensions. When Jesse was in Vietnam, an undeniable reality was that non-white Americans especially African Americans were fighting a “two- front war” (Vea 96). On one hand, African Americans were fighting the Vietnamese. That was their American duty. On the other hand, though, African Americans were also fighting a racial war in America. African Americans could have never fathom eating, sitting, or engaging with a Caucasian. That was something that would be considered ludicrous. For these reasons, African Americans were conflicted because some thought that they should not be fighting the war for the Caucasian. To the contrary, some started to believe that the real fight was in America. I believed this point to be particularly interesting because many books that I have read have not completely addressed this issue. It is important to note that African Americans and other minority groups like Chicanos were considered inferior. It did not matter that these men were placing their lives on the line. Victory in war was the only important thing.

As I continued to read the book, it quickly became clear that the racial tensions did not end in the past but continued to the present. Jesse had to defend Supreme Being, a white supremacist. I believed that Supreme Being therefore represented the United States. This is because Supreme Being resembled the United States in the fact that he had to rely on a minority to help defend him. If Jesse would not have defended him, then it is unlikely that Supreme Being could have held his own in court. Similarly, the United States has relied on minority groups to help them fight in many wars including the Vietnam War. This is an important point because minority soldiers have not been commended as they should for their valor.

Aside from Supreme Being, Vea also strategically used the courtroom to represent a war zone. Vietnam had been the war zone in the past and now, the courtroom had become the war zone in the present. The only difference was that the courtroom was where words were the ammunition and the fighting force. By establishing that the court room as a war zone, Vea demonstrated that time had passed and America was not at war anymore with another country. People were now in war in the courtroom. This was an interesting topic because Vea illustrated that Jesse continued to be a soldier for the people. He never left his occupation. These examples therefore showcase the fact that Vea used people and places to represent bigger themes and ideas. He made social comments throughout the book.

Overall, I found this reading to be fascinating. The author successfully tied the past and present. The two women that were murdered had spouses that served in Vietnam. These characters therefore illustrated how women during that time period had to deal with the anguish that follows not knowing what really happened to lost spouses. The fear of unknown becomes a part of life. Therefore, we see that Vea not only addressed concerns in society as a whole, but also personal concerns. As a result, I absolutely loved this book because it talked about different aspects of life.

Reading Post 5

While reading the prologue of “Freedom Flyers,” I realized the stark difference between growing up in the North and South of the United States during the early twentieth century. This was because I was able to read John Roach’s story. John Roach was an African American pilot that had grown up in the South End of Boston. His story helped me understand that some African Americans who lived in the northern part of the United States had not been that much exposed to the Jim Crow laws as African Americans who lived in the southern part of the United States. This is because John Roach first “met Jim Crow” when he was traveling through the South by train. A police officer asked John Roach, “What are you doing here? No, no, no what are you doing sitting here? Come on with me before I throw you off the train” (Moye 3). While reading these events, I was surprised to learn that this was the first time that John Roach faced a situation like the one described because I had thought that African Americans were more exposed to the Jim Crow laws. It was clear, though, that Roach had never been so badly treated in the North because Roach was very livid by how he was being treated. For example, Roach’s cheeks were “burning, still stunned and indignant” (Moye 3). By stating that Roach was “stunned and indignant,” I could clearly see that Roach was not used to being poorly treated. Therefore, by reading Roach’s oral history, I had a better understanding of the difference between the North and South. African Americans who lived in the North were probably slightly better treated than the African Americans who lived in the South. This is because there was the general sentiment among African Americans that Southerners were the people that carried racial prejudice with them. Roach even stated that the military recruiters in Boston had denied him because he had encountered military recruiters that “were Southerners who had been assigned to Boston and they were carrying that thing- racial prejudice- with them” (Moye 3). As a result, Roach’s story reconstructed the past because I was able to learn that racial tensions were higher in the South than in the North. I therefore was exposed to a different perspective. I saw that during the early part of the twentieth century, some African Americans in the North had never “met” Jim Crow laws and therefore, were not treated as poorly as African Americans in the South. It helped me understand that African Americans were treated worse in the South than in the North for the most part.

Reading these selected chapters from “Freedom Flyers” helped me better understand how I can use the oral interviews to reconstruct the past. This is because I can use the oral interviews to provide a first hand account of what happened in Vietnam and how it affected the Latino family. I could therefore provide a unique perspective that is different from a Vietnam Veteran who happens to be Caucasian or non-Latino in general. I could demonstrate how family, education, and socioeconomic status among other things affects a Chicano veteran’s decision to go into the armed forces. I could also examine what were some particular struggles that Chicano Vietnam Veterans had to confront.

Reflection Post 2

This past weekend I conducted my first oral interview with a Vietnam Veteran. It took place on Saturday morning at the Mason Hall library. On Saturday morning, I woke up at 6:00 am because I could not stop thinking about the interview. I wanted to make sure that I knew the questions that I was planning to ask because I did not want to seem unprepared. I also used this time to make certain that the digital recorder was working. I think without a doubt I was nervous about the interview. This is because I kept thinking about the possible reactions that the narrator might have to the questions that I was going to ask and what reaction I might possibly have. For example, I was thinking about the possibility that the narrator might break down in front of me. After thinking of different ways of how I should react, I thought that the best way for me to react was to look down and give the narrator space. Saturday morning, though, was not the only time that I thought about the interview.

The week leading up to the interview I constantly kept thinking about the interview. When I first contacted the narrator, he had asked if I could conduct the interview at his home. I was at first uncertain as to how I would arrive to his house but after talking to Professor Summers Sandoval, we came up with different plans to get to his house. I was more at ease and I was glad that we could accommodate the narrator. At the same time, though, I was a bit anxious about conducting the interview at his home. This is because I immediately thought of a quote in Valerie Yow’s “Recording Oral History.” Valerie Yow states “the interviewer may begin to feel a kind of strangeness, too, because he or she is welcomed into a home and treated like a friend. Information is confided that is often told to a friend” (163). I started to think about the fact that I would be entering the narrator’s house and that I would immediately be treated like a friend although the narrator did not particularly know me. Therefore, I realized that although I would feel a sense of strangeness, the narrator already thought of me as someone who had earned his trust and he was opening his home to me. Thus, I needed to make sure that I could not let him down in any way possible and that if I did feel a sense of strangeness, I would not show it. As a result, I was preparing myself to conduct the interview at his house.

As time passed by though, the narrator contacted me and he told me that he would actually prefer to conduct the interview at Pomona College. I felt more at ease because I am already familiar with the environment at Pomona College. Specifically, I was familiar with an interview being conducted at Pomona College. This is because during the summer I had the opportunity to observe an interview that Professor Summers Sandoval conducted with a Vietnam Veteran at Mason Hall Library. I learned from this experience the importance of the wording of a question among other things. Therefore, I had a little bit of knowledge of how I should conduct my first interview.

When I first arrived to Mason Hall, I was anxious to start the interview. I arrived fifteen minutes before the interview was scheduled to start and I was surprised to find the narrator already there. I greeted him and I quickly realized the narrator was very friendly and talkative. I gave him a cup of water and he immediately starting talking. He started by saying that his family has been involved in the army. His uncles and dad had served in wars such as World War I. He had therefore grown up with war being part of his upbringing. As the conversation continued, the narrator continued talking about his family. I realized that family is an integral part of his life. Throughout the interview, he would bring up different instances of how his family was affected by the war. These points reminded me of the stories we read in “Vietnam Veteranos.” This is because as I was hearing these stories, I quickly understood that I was talking to someone whose family was directly affected by the war. These issues have affected the family not only then but also now. His twin brother, who also served in Vietnam, to this day still thinks about the events he witnessed. This has affected their family because there is a sense that things will never return back to how they used to be.

As I was hearing the narrator’s story, I was trying not to show my feelings towards any of the stories that he told. I tried to be as objective as I could without making any facial expressions. I think it is just a natural thing for a person to have a reaction to a story but I would not want to unintentionally offend the narrator with my reaction. To the contrary, I wanted him to feel comfortable because I wanted him to know that I was sincerely intrigued to hear about his stories and feelings. For these reasons, I wanted to be objective as possible.

We continued talking for about an hour and a half. I was paying close attention to everything he said because I wanted him to know that I was interested in his story and that I deeply appreciate the opportunity that he gave me in allowing me to hear his story. Therefore when the interview was over, I felt that Yow was correct in stating that by the end of the interview, you feel like you have made a friend.  Although I only talked to the narrator for less than two hours, I did feel like I knew him for a very long time. I did not feel a sense of strangeness throughout the interview. When the interview was over, I thanked him for his time.

A day has passed by since I interviewed him, and I have had time to reflect. I now have a better understanding of the Vietnam War and in particular, the experiences of Chicano Veterans in the Vietnam War. Now, I better understand the hardships that many soldiers endured and still continue to endure because of the war. This experience has also made me think about the war the United States is currently involved in. The United States has been in war for about ten years and this fact shocked me. I think subconsciously I knew that it has been ten years but I have never thought of how soldiers now are suffering from Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder because of their involvement in the conflict. It makes me wonder: how many more years are we going to be in the Middle East? How many people are going to continue suffering because of the war? How are families dealing with it? When is it going to be over? Therefore, I think that this interview made me think about more contemporary issues involving the war in the Middle East. Nevertheless, I had a great experience conducting this interview. I thought about new issues and I am excited to conduct my next interview!

Reading Post 4

In “Recording Oral History,” Yow points out that it is important to consider the effects of interviewing on the interviewer. Before reading this section, I never thought that about some of the emotions that I may feel during the interviewing process. For example, Yow states “the interviewer may begin to feel a kind of strangeness, too, because he or she is welcomed into a home and treated like a friend. Information is confided that is often told to a friend” (163). I knew that I would be listening to personal stories but I never thought about the idea that the narrator may view me as a friend and not an interviewer. I also believe that this statement is true because after thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that I will most likely feel that I am talking to a friend instead of a stranger. So, I do agree with Yow’s statement that “when the interviewing project is over and the interviewer leaves the area, there is guilt over terminating a friendship” (163). I was thinking about this statement and I realized that I may feel these emotions because the narrator confides important parts of his life to me within a few hours. By the time the interview is over, the narrator has felt strong emotions and it would seem unnatural for the “friendship” to terminate. Nevertheless, I look forward to conducting these interviews because I want to listen to what these Vietnam Veterans have to say about the war.

I think that another essential understanding to take away from the reading is that the narrator will also be affected by the interview. The narrator will undoubtedly reflect about the past “and learn something about himself by articulating things not consciously thought about before” (158). The narrator will therefore have to face issues that they may have tried to suppress for some time. This may result in the narrator crying or demonstrating some other strong emotions. Therefore, it is important to remember that I have to be careful with what I chose to ask and how I word these questions because the questions may affect how these Vietnam Veterans feel after the interview.

The last essential understanding that I took from this week’s readings is that there are different ways to ask a question. A probing question, for example, “is used when you sense that something has been left out, that the narrator could give a more complex answer” (102). Another example is the “what if” questions. The “what if” questions try to answer what “the narrator’s wishes or aspirations” are(107). Therefore, it is important to understand the different questions that an interviewer can ask because an interviewer can find out specific answers by how the question was worded. Before reading this chapter, I had not thought about this point. Now, I have a better understanding of what types of questions I should ask for my first interview.

Reading Post 3

While reading Vietnam Veteranos: Chicanos Recall the War, it became apparent that the “macho” image in the Latino community undoubtedly played significant role in convincing many Chicano soldiers to fight in Vietnam. The “macho” image was an important part of the Latino culture especially during the twentieth century. Males were expected to prominently demonstrate their masculinity because it was a sign of control. Latinos were brought up with the belief that they could do anything and when faced with a difficult situation, Latinos were expected to confront it- not shy away. This is exactly what happened when the Vietnam War started. If faced with the situation that they were called to fight in Vietnam, Latinos would most likely go and fight in Vietnam. This is because if Latinos avoided the problem by fleeing and traveling to another place like Canada, these Latinos would be regarded as cowards. They would not be seen as men in the Latino community. Their reputation within the Latino community would have definitely suffered. For example, Connie, a soldier’s mother echoes these feelings in the statement, “He was ashamed of what his buddies would think, that he was being a sissy” (188). As a result, some Latinos would hide “behind the macho image, saying that [they] wanted to go” when in fact they did not want to fight in the war (191).  “Machismo” therefore did influence some Latinos’ decision to participate in the war.

Undoubtedly, it became apparent from reading Vietnam Veteranos: Chicanos Recall the War that a majority of the Chicano soldiers became desensitized in Vietnam. These Chicano veterans were used to seeing people injured or -worse- killed every day. For example, it was a common view to see veterans wearing Vietnamese ears or “grabbing cabezas and putting them on different bodies” (174). By witnessing events like the ones mentioned above, it became a sad reality that most of these Chicano veterans had “lost their humanity in Vietnam” (226). Most Chicano soldiers stated that they did not care about human life because death had become a normal part of their life. They were incapable of having any reaction to death or seeing people suffering. As a result, these Chicano Vietnam veterans had a difficulty when they came back home because they were perceived as being insensitive. Consequently, it is important to note that the Vietnam War emotionally and psychologically affected Chicano soldiers.

Reading Post 2

One important understanding to take away from “Vietnam Veteranos: Chicanos Recall the War” is that most of the Chicano soldiers who participated in the Vietnam War did not fully comprehend the reasons behind it. The only fact that most of the Chicano soldiers knew was that the United States had entered a war and it was only a matter of time before they joined the army. Within the Chicano community, there was a sense that it was completely natural for Chicanos to be part of the army. For example, Gilberto, a Vietnam Veteran, states that “they [army] wiped out half of the Mexican American community in Salinas in one year” (Ybarra, 16). For Chicanos, there was no other alternative to take. Their peers were constantly being drafted and there did not exist another path that could improve their lives. This is because it is also important to note that the Vietnam War occurred during the 1960s and 1970s when the Chicano youth faced discrimination on a daily basis. In American society and culture, the Chicanos were one of the many ethnicities that were considered inferior and the reality was that most of the troops were from the lower socioeconomic classes. As a result, Chicanos knew that sooner or later they would be in Vietnam either by enlisting or being drafted. It did not matter that they were never taught why the United States was involved in Vietnam. The only thing that mattered was their duty to fight.

As I continued reading through the book, I quickly realized that Chicano soldiers did not only encounter difficult situations in Vietnam, but also when they returned back home. One of the biggest obstacles that they had to deal with was Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder. Ray, an U.S. army officer, clearly explains this idea when he states that he was “set off for no reason” (Ybarra, 128). The instance mentioned above describes common feelings of anger and loneliness that soldiers felt when they came back home. These feelings ultimately became a barrier between the soldiers, including Chicano soldiers, and their families because the majority of these families did not to know how to respond to these emotions. It is therefore important to note that when Chicano soldiers returned back home, the Chicano soldiers were not the same people that they were before the war. The general conception among the public was that life would resume for the soldiers once they came back but this is far from the truth. The reality is that to this day there are still Vietnam Veterans that are dealing with Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder. For some, it may be that they will be fighting this battle until their death. As a result, it is important to note that one of the harshest consequences of the war for many Vietnam Veterans, including Chicano Vietnam Veterans, was Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.